Writer Stephen King Spoils Dark Tower Ending

Writer Stephen King has spoiled the ending of the Dark Tower series by living to see the TV pilot.

“The cat is out of the bag,” huffs Jack Dingleberry, local organizer of empty pizza boxes and hoarder of plastic and pewter miniatures, through a gelatinous layer of neck fat. “I, for one, could have done without the spoiler.”

It all began when Stephen King didn’t die.

“Never knew if he’d make it into his own damn show,” says Jack. “Now, not only has the story been spoiled by my reading it, but the television series now as well.”

Directors and writers of the Amazon series had reportedly tinkered with the idea of Roland writing himself into Midworld.

“When Roland stops writing, all the bag guys go away. But so does everything. So he keeps going. Carpal tunnel follows.”


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