Maerlin's Grapefruit

Rhea of Coos Having a Ball With Grapefruit

Rhea of the Coos is having a lot of fun with her new toy, Maerlin’s Grapefruit. She has been seen cackling to herself at all hours of the night.

She mutters and laughs while staring into the ball, apparently cracking jokes that no one can hear. She’s invisible in there – a fly on the wall. That may suit her fine, but we at have undertaken an investigative report. We are lucky enough to have gotten an interview with her and her weird cat, Musty.

Rhea of Coos
Shut up. It’s cute.

Daily Sack: So what did you do with the grapefruit the first night you got it?

Rhea: I wanted to see what everybody’s penis looked like. Took about two hours.

D: That’s weird. Anything interesting to report?

R: Sai Thorin’s got a weird one. It’s long, but it dangles off to the left, like a crooked, dangly elephant trunk. I didn’t want to look, but Musty was so interested. Weren’t you, Musty?

M: Mew.

D: Moving on –

R: That Dearborn sai, the young gunslinger, he’s about average. Nothing special. But the chubby one –

D: I thought you said you went penis-spying on the first night.

R: I did.

D: But the gunslingers didn’t come into town until recently.

R: Well I didn’t say I stopped looking. Did we, Musty? Tee hee hee!

M: Mew?

D: How often do you look into the pink ball?

R: Oh, about seventeen times a day.

D: That’s a lot.

R: Onnestly, if I didn’t have to get up to use the privy seventeen times a day, Id’ never leave. It charges me up, cully. Do ya ken?

D: Anything you want to tell the audience before we end the interview?

R: Yes. Musty thinks the chubby gunslinger has a great, big, beautiful penis. Whale-like in its girth, so it is. A glorious, mushroom-capped staff, just waiting to poke its first young maiden. Isn’t that right, Musty?

M: Mew.

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